Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Here's a link to an article I just finished writing for's New Year's Resolutions project. It's about getting out and about more, and realizing when you've become too complacent in your daily routines.

There's a lot going on tomorrow night in downtown Tacoma. I'm going to publish an article about all the New Year's Eve festivities tomorrow. If anyone wants to meet up somewhere, let me know. I'll be around. I'll probably end up at the New Frontier. I've almost fully recovered from my visit last Sunday.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Empire of the Owl (Part I)

Happy Boxing Day everyone. And happy birthday Kevin and Johnathan.

I've been very reluctant to share any pieces of my upcoming, best-selling, Pulitzer prize winning novel, f u. It seems the more I write, the more protective I feel of it. Or maybe I feel more vulnerable.

Anyhow, here's a little snippet:

He sighs, looking annoyed, standing there on the dewy parking strip grass next to his newest beater Volkswagen race car. His arms are crossed. He's looking at me like he's in a hurry, like I'm slowing him down; like he's got better things to do, and I'm just getting in his way.

I sigh, frustrated, and stare at the car, all matte-black and dumped, the springs no doubt chopped down to nothing, the floor pan practically resting on the blacktop. The front rim glints, catching light from the streetlight as a I walk around the side of the car heading to the passenger side. They're nice wheels. Classic chrome Empis with new-looking Toyo tires. I start to wonder who he stole them from.

I turn and look down the hill at the unruly congregation, off in the distance, meandering down North State Street, David and Emerald hanging back a few paces. I clear my throat and turn back to Brandon. “Nice car,” I tell him.

“Huh,” he mocks. “Thanks, man.” He pauses. “You wanna get in now?” he asks condescendingly, gesturing with his head toward my side of the car.

A clucking noise startles me. I shake my head, dismissing it, or at least hoping he wasn't actually telling me the truth earlier. I turn to look back over at the mob moving down the street, growing ever smaller in the distance. I sigh.

Shit, I mutter, eying the open slot on the side of the car where a door handle is meant to be bolted, a tiny steel lever barely visible inside the cavity in the sheet metal. I glance over at Brandon and then turn to look once more at the crowd, barely visible in the early morning shadows cast onto sidewalks by strip malls and dark storefronts.

Shit, I mumble once more, sighing, realizing there's no easy way out of this one; realizing I'd much rather be a part of the mob, and I don't even like most of those people – I mean, I just spent the last couple hours trying to convince them all to leave my apartment.


I look at Brandon. I catch him grinning before he notices me noticing him, and he forces a scowl.
“Get in the car, man,” he says.

I stare back at him, trying to read him.

“He's not gonna bite you,” he tells me.

I pause, still staring at him. I look at the door again, shaking my head, mumbling some profane nonsense. I feel around inside the open cavity for the lever that's meant to be attached to a door handle. The lock mechanism clicks, and I can barely make out the sight of the knob popping up on the other side of the tinted glass, and I wonder why anyone would lock a car with no door handles.

The aroma of compost and old doughnuts, all earthy and sweet, hits me in the face as I open the door. Wincing, taking shallow breaths, I peer inside the car, watching as Brandon brushes random debris off the passenger seat onto the floor. There are feathers everywhere.

“You're gonna have to take the back,” he says, throwing a wadded up pair of jeans into the back of the car.

I scoff. “Yeah,” I snicker. “Right.” I sit down and look over at the inside of the door, completely stripped of all upholstery and trim, and look for something to grab onto to so I can close it.

Brandon turns the key and cranks the starter a couple times before the engine fires, roaring to life in an almost obscene manner. The engine idles loudly, roughly, sending reverberations through the bare floor pan up legs; my feet tingle. I look down at my black and white Converse low tops. An old, dirty penny vibrates past my right heel, it's vibrations inaudible over the deep, rumbling exhaust note. It disappears under the seat. My ears pop.

I grab onto the least sharp looking piece of sheet metal I can reach and pull the door closed. It slams shut silently under the cacophony of engine noise and rattling metal.

Brandon turns to me and points towards the back of the car, his index finger shaking wildly. “In the back, man,” he mouths, or says; I can't hear a word of it.

I look past the all the debris, the pizza boxes, clothing, car parts and tools strewn about the back of the car, which I now notice doesn't even have a back back seat, and look out through the dirty, dark-tinted rear window at the billowing exhaust cloud glowing a muddy red behind the tinted tail lights. I reach down to the side of the seat, trying to find a lever, or a knob, or something to make the seat move forward so I can get in the back easier, all the while being highly aware of the dangers of feeling around blindly in any vehicle of Brandon's, but I can't find anything except loose change and something slimy.

I look to Brandon for help, but he just grins back and buckles his harness. He points towards the back again.

I shrug my shoulders, exasperated, and shake my head no.

“Why do you always have to–” I begin to yell, barely able to hear my own words, but he starts to laugh and looks down at the floor by my feet just as something pokes my leg.

I jump in my seat and move my legs towards the door.

A ratty looking chicken – or a rooster, I guess – looks up at me from the floor, its feathers unkempt and ragged-looking, speckled with what looks like black spray paint.

I look over at Brandon and then back at the chicken. I shake my head, turn back to Brandon, gesturing with my hands, and I ask him, “why?” That's all I can come up with.

He grins back at me, then points to the back again.

I shake my head and start picturing worst case scenarios in my head as I turn, kneeling down on the edge of the seat and grabbing both of the front headrests for support as I squeeze myself through the small passageway to the back of the car. I accidentally kick Brandon in the process.

The back of the Squareback smells even worse than the front. I reach for a couple wadded up shirts and lay them down to sit on. I'm not even fully seated as Brandon shifts into first guns the accelerator, causing me to lose my balance. I fall onto my side and reach for whatever I can to keep from getting thrown to all the way to the back of the car. I end up grabbing hold of the red, nylon strap of the racing harness right next to where it's bolted to the floor, which must've choked Brandon, or something, because the next thing I know I'm getting punched in the shin and the car is swerving towards the cars parked along the curb, and I'm tumbling towards the back.

I'm rubbing the back of my head; it's throbbing from hitting the sub box in the back. I'm dazed, staring towards the front of the car. Brandon's giving me the finger, and there's a chicken perched on the front of the seat I should be sitting in.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Kobe Helper

Yesterday, on a whim, Brittany and I drove up to Seattle for the day. After pulling over somewhere on Elliot street and paying the meter, Brittany was chased by a really big bee all the way to Pier 66. I followed slowly behind, taking pictures all the while. It was pretty intense.

It was cold, windy and rainy. It wasn't a very good day for a walk outside. But, undeterred by the weather, and determined to make the most of our day off work, we walked on anyway.

We walked through the Pike Place Market, but it was shutting down for the day when we got there. It was disappointing. We should have probably woken up earlier.

After stopping so Brittany could try on a $575 Italian wool coat (which just happened to be half off), we found a much needed respite from the rain at the Chocolate Box. We shared an Americano and a chocolate chunk cookie. It was good. They both were, in fact.

We didn't actually end up finishing our Christmas shopping as we had planned. But we did eat a lot. We stopped by the wine shop in Pacific Place, tasted some wine and ate a couple cheese plates at the restaurant. 6th Avenue Wine Merchants has some pretty delicious food; I was impressed.

And Brittany and I got to look at
pictures of winery dogs and Marilyn Monroe, and we stared out the window at the people getting expensive hair cuts at Gene Juarez across the street. And we watched it rain.

Soon after we returned home, we realized we hadn't eaten a real meal all day. We scrounged around the kitchen searching for scraps of anything delicious. We came up with Kobe Helper: Hamburger Helper with Kobe style beef. Yum. Kind of a contradiction, though. At least I think it is. It was actually pretty satisfying, though. Not quite as good as the turkey bacon and grilled asparagus pizza I made the night before, though, I have to say.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Late night holiday shopping on 6th Avenue

For the next two Wednesdays, select shops and businesses on 6th Avenue will be open until 9pm for your late night shopping needs:

On another note, monocles are about to make a comeback. At least in Great Britain. Seriously. I've been expecting this for years.

A British optical chain is bringing them back by popular demand. Apparently my own demands have not been popular enough in this country.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Prepare to have your face melted

$2,000 Puma, an intense, groove-driven funk-rock four-piece, will be playing this Saturday at the New Frontier Lounge. Read all about it here.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

2009 Job Gap Report

I just published an article about NWFCO's 2009 Job Gap Report and employment in downtown Tacoma. Thanks for the press release, Kevin.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Public memorial for slain police officers scheduled for next Tuesday

There is a public memorial for the 4 murdered Lakewood police officers scheduled for next Tuesday, December 8th at the Tacoma Dome. I just wrote an article about it. Over 20,000 people are expected to attend.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Get a job

When I signed out of hotmail this afternoon, I noticed an interesting article on the msn page I was sent to.

The article is about unemployment, and it begins with a pretty surprising statistic:

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 36 percent of unemployed people -- or 5.4 million -- had been without a job for 27 weeks or more in September 2009.

Wow. That seems pretty crazy to me. Granted, I've been unemployed, or underemployed, or wrongfully employed a lot since I graduated from college. And, honestly, I've been pretty lazy in my job searches. But I can't imagine being unemployed for 27 weeks or more. I understand how frustrating it is to not have a job, and how exhausting and exasperating job searches are. But they're not impossible.

Job searches are really weird these days. Almost everything other than the actual job interview has been made extremely impersonal. Most companies require you to apply online and seem very confused, and often off-put, if you show up unannounced and try to show someone an actual hard copy of your resume.

Here are a few tips (right off the top of my head no less) for getting hired:

1. Confuse someone into hiring you. Everyone's into online social networking these days. Get on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, build yourself a profile on Monster and maybe even start a blog. When you finally speak to someone in person, use this online information to your advantage (or just fake it). “Oh hey, I know you! Yeah, we talk all the time on myspace, right?” Or, “I've been following you on Twitter.”

2. Get famous on Youtube. Someone will probably care.

3. Find an obscure online job. There are all sorts of online companies out there. A lot of them wont try to steal your identity, and some of them will even pay you. Some come with impressive (or inexplicable) job titles. Find one and pad your resume.

These are just a few of my own ideas. Trust me, though, these are just as relevant as anyone else's suggestions I've read; I've browsed a lot of web sites and read a couple books on the subject. I'm pretty much convinced that no one really knows what's really going on these days. I mean, who has the time to figure that out anyway?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tacoma Arts Month

Just posted a short article about what's going on the last week of Tacoma Arts Month.

Pretty much all downtown museums and galleries are participating, and so are a lot of bars and coffeeshops.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Assistant Director Skinner

Assistant Director Skinner was born on June 29th, 2009. Abandoned by his mother just days after his birth, Skinner fell in with a rough crowd and spent months roaming the streets of Tacoma with wanton disregard for his own future. He suffered severe tail injuries after narrowly escaping a drive-by shooting at the age of just 4 months. Soon after, he was imprisoned by the Tacoma Humane Society.

Just days before he was marked for execution, Brittany and I rescued him. As he is a marked kitten, we are forced to keep him as an indoor cat.

Brittany has had a soft spot for mangled animals as long as I've known her. And really, who can blame her? She wanted to adopt a 3-legged, 1-eyed dog and name him Tragedy. We eventually reached a compromise and adopted Skinner instead.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Getting started

Hello readers, welcome to my new blog. I decided to start it as a way to reconnect with friends and family members, and also as a way to shamelessly promote my articles. Last week I got a job writing for I have since had 3 articles published. Help me save up to buy a burrito by reading my articles. I am hungry.