Friday, May 31, 2013

Prancercise: The Art of Physical and Spiritual Excellence

For a long time, I felt like something was missing from my life. Growing up, I did everything society told me to do with my life. I graduated from college, got married, started a family, but I still felt like something was missing from my life.

That is, until I discovered Prancersise.

Since my first prance around the block, I've felt like a new man. Colors are more vivid. Food tastes better. My wife is proud of my new, leaner, more horse-like physique. My son respects me (you should see how he looks at me now). My cat no longer bites me.

Joanna Rohrback invented Prancercise, "a springy, rhythmic way of moving forward, similar to a horse's gait and ideally induced by elation," way back in 1989, but for some reason it didn't catch on. Clearly, Rohrback was ahead of her time.

As Rohrback explains on her website, “This form of movement, along with dietary and spiritual principles can create the most satisfying, holistic and successful fitness program one could hope to experience. I encourage anyone who is ready for a huge change in their lives, from the way they see the world, to the way they see themselves to explore the principles inherent in this program, especially as outlined in my book: Prancercise®: The Art of Physical and Spiritual Excellence.”


This book changed my life, and it could change yours too. Possibly for the better. But don't take my word for it, take a look at some of these incredible reviews:
I was dealing with severe depression and anxiety...and the occasional bout with cameltoe. Prancercise has helped me escape my own personal swamps of sadness.
This book finally let me experience my inner-horse. I was like a child again, prancing through the woods. At one point, I was convinced I had 4 legs. A smile radiated from my face. I punched the sky, knowing that I was free. Call me Prancer, for I walk my path with joy.
In the last year, I've gone from a couch-potato who wore a shirt in the pool to a lean and mean UFC fighter, and recently became the first person to hold championship titles in all eight weight classes simultaneously. Joanna said, "It's better to be punching into space than in your face," and I'm sure my opponents would agree, as my Prancercise Box technique is unstoppable. It was tough getting my now-chiseled frame down to 125 lbs to win the flyweight belt, but that's where the rest of the Prancercise program did its magic. All it took was a strict regimen of "galloping" for 90 minutes per day, plus a balanced diet of hay and water, and the pounds just melted off. And my cardio went through the roof!
Look, I know how it sounds, and I know you're probably thinking that either I am sitting here being facetious or that I am a total nutcase. But I promise you that I am sincere, and that I am at least sane enough to be an independently living adult with a full time job. So, I mean, that's something. I implore you to pick up this book and give Prancercise a chance. It has changed my life. I went from lazy, lethargic, barely having enough energy to squeeze into my size 6T Pinkie Pie pajamas (they need to start making these for adults). Now I am full of energy, life, joie de vivre. I am a new me. A new pony. I do not skulk around, I PRANCE. I prance PROUDLY and with gusto.
At first I was skeptical, but after convincing several of my co-workers to try prancercise, I am a believer. I lead a daily prancercise at work and people come out of their office, prancercise for a while and the go back to work. Afterward we high-five, enjoy an orange mocha frappuccino, and head back to work knowing we let our inner-horse out to pasture.

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